Meth...as big then as now<br>
I remember being introduced to meth by a group of friends, let’s just say “back in the old days.” The year, date and time, I wish not to recall because I forgot about those sad and wasted times.
On my first attempt, my friends said it was a good high and yes it was—though the burning pain and the teary eyes brought on a rush that made me forget about the “real life.” It seemed to numb my physical, emotional and spiritual life, even though I knew deep inside that it was wrong. The addiction immediately took over the balance of my of life and unbalanced the sacred ways of living. At the time, it did not seem like I had a problem, but the more I fell into the web of my addiction, I physically knew that there was no turning back.
I told myself constantly that each fix would be my last one, but the power of the addiction had already taken over my life. There were times that I couldn’t get a hold of myself and I just kept buying and feeding the demon that was running my life.
I’ll admit to the whole world that I did sell the stuff, but the only reason I sold it was to keep a personal stash for my own use. I don’t recall how many times I hallucinated and felt like I was going to pass on into the next world. All the other less potent drugs that I used weren’t as good as the high I received from meth. It maybe a quick and short high, but the state it put me in mattered most.
The emotional problems that I had acquired were no problem for me at all because I had no feelings. I really didn’t care if I hurt anyone, especially those who were close to me. I just shadowed them into the background of my life.
I used the so called “wonder drug” for about three years total, according to my calculations, well, it was somewhere around there. In first two years of meth use, it seemed like I was constantly tearing up my nose and shading my past, but in the last year of use I started to realize the downfall of my life. I was still using, but not as much as I was in the earlier years.
Everything had changed around me, or was it just me, that suddenly changed. I was lost for a long time and the reality of life started setting in. I was ashamed for just being who I was and the crazy things that I had done to those loved ones around me just to get the next high.
My family started turning their back on me and really seemed like they didn’t know who I was. It took me a long time to realize what had just happened. It took me a long time to realize what I did to myself and those around me. Even today, I still feel those guilty feelings. The real thing I am most happy about is, I am alive and loved very dearly. I don’t know why I walked away from the happiness in my life.
For those of you out there still caught up in this meth mess, my words to you is stop, think, and look around...What is more beautiful, your surroundings or the fake feeling of happiness.
The life I have now, I will never change it for the low-life of “Meth”. I am just glad that it didn’t take my life. You have to think about those around you and those who admire your presence. Meth will deteriorate the feeling of love, happiness and, most of all, togetherness with your family.
I encourage those of you who are dwelling in the painful world of meth, to re-think your path. Be strong, think with your heart not you intoxicated mind.
Walk away from it, before it takes you away...
I have kept up on the news of my people, though I am not residing there on the beautiful Din’eh Rez, but I read about the problems that are surfacing because of the use of drugs and alcohol. It is sad to hear of someone losing their loved one over such nonsense, but the reality of the addiction(s) is sweeping through our nation.
I have always heard of people saying it’s up to the person who is addicted to realize their problem. In reality, I hate to say this, but it’s not. Every addict out there needs the helping hand of loved ones. It is a team effort.
Don’t be afraid to make it visible to someone you love that they have a problem. It is a good thing to let your loved one feel you care, instead of walking away mad and making them feel life a failure. It’ just like feeding the fire more wood. Communication and the tone of your voice is the best tool to help a hurting soul.
I was overwhelmed to read that there are special people out there that are helping our nation, our Din’eh People. I want to say thank you to Dr. Thomas Drouhard and Lucy Hatathlie for bringing the addiction to reality into our community. It is a demon that has taken a big part of my life and is also taking our youth by storm. The only way to fight this demon is by making it known to everyone.
When I was using, there was no one out there that would get up and say anything about it. Maybe no one realized meth was a growing problem.
But these great people who are spending a great deal of their own time to teach what this drug can actually do should be honored.
Meth...It’s a killer, at what rate? Who knows? So, choose tradition, not addiction...
God bless you all.
(Anthony K. Maloney, Din’eh, resides in Federal Way, Wash.)
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