Homage or Garbage

A brief look at headlines throughout the world that reflect what was positive in society in the past week and what brings us one step closer to the apocalypse

Goons Rule

Once again, professional sports show us what is wrong with society ‹ mainly that if you are a professional athlete you can get away with anything.

The NHL reinstated Vancouver Canucks' forward Todd Bertuzzi just 17 months after his punch to the head of Colorado's Steve Moore.

Bertuzzi can resume his career and his life pretty much as he left it but doctor's will have to determine whether Moore will have to find a new line of work after suffering a broken neck and a concussion.

In reality Bertuzzi was suspended for the final 13 regular-season games of the 2003-04 season and the Stanley Cup playoffs. He, along with every other NHL player, missed the 2004-05 season due to the lockout.

A 13-game suspension for nearly crippling another player is hardly appropriate or justifiable.

"I find that the appropriate discipline to be imposed for Mr. Bertuzzi's conduct on March 8, 2004 is the suspension that has been served to date,'' Commissioner Gary Bettman said.

The suspension cost Bertuzzi $501,926.39 in salary. He is due to earn more than $5.2 million from the Canucks in the upcoming season. As per terms of his criminal probation (a year's probation and sentenced to 80 hours of community service), Bertuzzi will not be permitted to play against Moore.

The attack was seen as retaliation for a hit Moore put on Vancouver star Markus Naslund that left the Canucks' captain with a concussion and sidelined him for three games.

A more appropriate punishment would be a life-time ban and jail time.

Mr. Bettman agrees, if only in theory.

"Mr. Bertuzzi must be held responsible for the results of his actions, and the message must be delivered loudly and forcefully that the game will not tolerate this type of conduct," Bettman said.

Thirteen games. Message received loud and clear.

'Great One' & Only

Since I'm on the subject of hockey: when the Winnipeg Jets moved to Phoenix and became the Coyotes in 1996, I laughed. I continued laughing as the NHL expanded into Anaheim, Tampa, Miami, Columbus and Atlanta.

Most of the side-splitting laughter came from a special I watched in which country music stars explained what a puck was to the new Nashville Predator fans ‹ both of them. After all, if a league must explain the equipment used in its sport, then there probably wasn't enough demand to expand into the region.

But I stopped laughing after the lockout became official. The one good thing that came out of missing a season is what has made the NFL the premier professional team league ‹ parity.

Sure the Patriots dominated ‹ past tense ‹ but with fiscal equality among the teams the competition has never been better. And now that equality has come to the NHL, meaning the non-traditional clubs in the Sun Belt can have a chance to win games and Lord Stanley's Cup. And winning will draw fans, finally.

And no one in hockey knows more about winning than the Coyote's new head coach, Wayne Gretzky.

"The Great One" was introduced Aug. 8 as coach in addition to retaining his positions as a minority owner and the managing partner for hockey operations.

Gretzky should bring a winning attitude to the team that finished dead last in the Pacific Division in 2003-04 (22-36-18-6). He did win four Stanley Cups. But what he means even more to the Valley of the Sun, is a bankable name on a team without a true superstar.

Sure, the Coyotes have Brett Hull. But at 41-years-old, "The Golden Brett" is past his prime on the ice. Gretzky is 44.

Gretzky the name should help draw a few hundred extra fans to the new Glendale Arena and Gretzky the coach should help entice star players to sign with the club. It may take a year or two, but with Gretzky behind the bench, league parity and a big-time player or two I predict the Coyotes to be a powerhouse in the Western Conference. And that's no laughing matter.

Valhalla Awaits

A Viking horde is coming to America and they're sailing a boat made of ice cream sticks.

A replica Viking ship made of 15 million ice cream sticks was scheduled to launch in Amsterdam yesterday by a former Hollywood stuntman.

Capt. Robert McDonald, 45, took two years to build to Sea Heart Viking Ship, which he and a crew of six to eight people, plans to sail across the Atlantic.

If the ship floats, it should set a Guinness World Record for the largest sailing ship made of ice cream sticks. The 50-foot ship is equipped with oars and a mast, is built with sticks of birch-wood glued together by McDonald and two volunteers in a Dutch workshop.

McDonald, a native of Jacksonville, Fla., also plans to use the ship with his Sea Heart Foundation (www.seaheartship.com), which helps provide leisure activities for children in hospitals.

McDonald said he hopes the project also shows the positive impact that creative recycling could have with everyday household products.

The ice cream sticks used to make the ship were provided by ice cream maker OLA and by children who collected discarded sticks around the world saving McDonald from having to eat all that ice cream and receive one incredible brain freeze headache.